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Monthly Archives: April 2011

Reminiscing Regrets.

I opened my eyes and there you were

Standing, smiling, looking at me.

I closed my eyes and opened it again

Just to make sure

It’s not just a figment of my imagination.

But when I opened my eyes

I realize it was just delusion

I was dreaming, yet it seemed so real

I wanted to close my eyes again,

And reflect what’s left of my dreams.

As proverbial as it may seem…

I tried to visualize again.

The image of your reflection,

In my mind and in my heart.

You promised not to leave me.

But you left when I was beginning  to value your love,

You taught me to be true to myself.

You helped me appreciate the true meaning of life.

But now things will never be the same.

All I have are pictures of you,

Memories of the past,

The joyful moments,

When time was of no substance.

My lament now is for the moment to ponder .

How I wish I could turn back time

And be the person you want me to become.

You shouldn’t have gone.

You should have fought your way back,

For I know you are immensely strong.

Why did you have to leave me behind?

When everything was turning out so favorably.

I was to befit what you want me to be.

You left… oh so sudden.

I was not yet prepared.

I just hope you’re contented now

Because I know that you are..

I feel you guiding me inside my heart.

But if ever in a long time I had forgotten

To let you know….

I love you and miss you so much, dad.

Emptiness…

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2011 in Family

 

MASKS

Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. ~Oscar Wilde …

From all forms they come.

Some may come smiling, some may even be running.

Others would even hold the door for you or even invite themselves in!

Meeting one everyday is an adventure

Pausing me to think day after day.

Each one is a constant emotional battle.

I realize that these faces are not real.

Behind those laughing, smiling eyes,

..and the picture of innocent faces

shows a Mask of man’s mocking reality.

To cover up transgressions of guilty and adultery

A sackful of hypocrisy, vanity and greed.

It is a choice by heart of course, between real and make believe faces.

You can never tell the difference which one is real.

Still I pretend that nothing is wrong.

With myself or the so-called world web of lies.

As I touch that cold and imperfect union of ties

You seem to think they understand you and feel your pain.

Instead.. they criticize you!

One might then feel guilty, but never removes the mask.

So I start to wear my own mask

In all forms I can come with it.

But just from the surface, you might look and stare at them hard

All they may have are their life’s personal posessions

They may smile and share and often times offer you material happiness.

They don’t know that everytime they put their masks on,

They forget they had not removed the first one.

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2011 in Contemporary

 

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The third person dies a tragic death.

I had been kicked, crushed and disarrayed
Fractions of my life in shambles.
Wanting to undwindle the time
When letting go was beyond imagination.

I screamed my lungs out
When I found your dual identity
Hopeful as it may seem
It tore my irrevocable trust.

I had not foreseen this
Nor had I thought about it
With a tiny sparkle of light
I found my way to that darkened path.

....................(breathing for momentum)

I saw you and unmistakingly
It was not me with you.
ME. I.
What you so called significant other.
Significant...what?
Fuck you!

That female dog haunted my nights
My days that turned into years
I was possessed with revenge
I could not get over it
I wanted to kill....
Both.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't look at my face in the mirror
For fear of seeing them in my own reflection
I cried, I screamed
I wanted to die.

For weeks I did not eat, but just water.
While friends prayed,
YOU..
YOU! How dare you!?
'have the audacity to call to let me know you still care..?..!
You stupid son of a *bitch!!!

Now it rained on you
Realized I was important
Thought of that son that made you smile
Missed the voice that called you dad...
A family is all that was.

Now you want it all back
Back to assume all that was.
As simple words that may convey
"I'm sorry, I messed up
I want you back.

What??!
Do you think
It's just that simple
"I want you, I'm sorry
Let's fuck and be merry...!?

LIES LIES LIES!!!
What's to believe in
I can't even differentiate a lie from the truth
When you start to open your mouth
Better yet close it.

.......................

It's been two(2) years
It's not a no-go situation
He has not given up...'told him to do just that
Why he stays, when nothing's left..?
Respect, trust, love...where did they all go?
Toilet. ....

Now he's back
I should be ..... happy..?
I don't know.
Where is that female dog now...?
The answer lies in the title.
 
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Posted by on April 26, 2011 in Infidelity

 

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……..

Just leave me be…

Oh pain! Just leave me be.

It pierces my heart so deep the wound I can’t withstand.

My conscience is like that frenzied maelstrom

That wreaks the vagaries of my esteemed vengeance

I vow to you like that of a woman scorned

You whilst find the pieces that have tantamount

This stinking stench you have bestowed!

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2011 in Contemporary

 

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Gallery

Ode to his Infidelity

I will tie you to a tree upside down and leave you out in the scorching heat till sun down.

I will let you bask in the sun butt-naked being chased with my 4 viciously trained rottweillers and 1 chihuahua.

I will let you swim in my pool after I let my 10 new breed of piranhas out for a morning swim with you.

I will cook your favorite food everyday and put a little spice of poison in it.

Think twice before you try to break my heart again.

Intentionally or not.

My list goes on.

Just think everyday is a new day…if you’re still alive.

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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