I’ve lied to many people to get away from being reprimanded.
Including my parents who have long thought I was a saint.
I was a saint in their own eyes.
I know I have pledged my ways…
…but the enticement to do the wrong was unbearably strong.
I’ve killed vagueness with vulgarity.
In which too much attention drove me to the spotlight.
I’ve punished those whom I’ve thought,
Had they stolen my rightful spot.
Made friends with people carrying pitchforks.
I was vain, haughty and greedy.
I am not proud of it now.
I know I once was.
I have my share of love found and love lost.
I have my share of wicked infidelities.
Wicked schemes of revenge.
Lustfullness to unimaginable extremity.
I am not happy.
I am not proud of all the things I’ve done.
I have suffered severe consequence.
Consequeneces that made me writhe in pain.
I was emotionally drained, bleeding and dying spiritually.
Where I can’t be found.
II. Redemption of a Sinner.
First time in my life I closed my eyes.
Knelt down to pray, I asked for pardon against my sins.
Would He ever forgive me, I asked myself.
Because I know, I am not worthy of His grace.
I just knelt not thinking of anything.
What do I pray? I asked myself again.
Then a shadow came over me.
I blinked open and saw the sun was in my eyes.
Too bright that I couldn’t see.
I heard a voice inside my head.
It said, “my Child, why are you afraid of me?
Come to me.
I will give you rest.
I knew it was Him.
I felt so ashamed.
I felt so scared.
I felt so little.
His voice called out my deepest fears and pains.
Everything that has been pulling my life down seem to loosen its weight.
His soothing words calmed my beating heart.
My nights turned to days.
He said, I love you.
I will never forsake you.
I have been waiting for you.
I cried with all my heart.
I cried all the hurts and the sins tht has kept me in bondage all these time.
I cried all the pain that tortured me and left me for dead all these years.
I choked on my tears when I envisioned myself kneeling at his feet.
He pulled me up and cradled me in His arms.
The whole time, He was there.
When I felt so alone and no one to turn to,
He was there.
He loved me despite my inequities.
He cared for me.
He died for my sins.
He redeemed me of my sins.
I know JESUS loves me.